You cannot always tell who someone really is online. Profiles can be faked, photos can be borrowed, and now even video and voice can be generated. So this lesson is not about spotting fake accounts. It is about spotting behaviour, because whoever someone claims to be, grooming follows a pattern, and once you know the pattern you can see it coming a long way off.
It starts with attention. Someone is suddenly very interested in you. They compliment you, agree with you, take your side about school or home. It feels great, and that is the point. Then comes secrecy: our chats are special, don't tell anyone, your parents wouldn't understand. Then the chat moves somewhere private, and the requests start, small at first, then bigger, and sometimes eventually images. And if an image is ever sent, the tone can flip in a second, from the nicest person you have ever met to threats.
| They say or do | Why it matters |
|---|---|
| "Keep this between us." | Secrecy is the number one warning sign. People with good intentions never need your silence. |
| "Let's move to Snap / WhatsApp / DMs." | Moving somewhere private and disappearing is where the pattern accelerates. |
| "You're so mature for your age." | Classic flattery designed to make you feel special and separate you from friends your own age. |
| "Prove you trust me. Send a pic." | The request itself is the red flag. A real friend never needs proof like this. |
| "If you tell anyone, I'll share everything." | Threats mean it was never friendship. It also means the law is fully on your side, not theirs. |
Read this chat between Sam, 13, and "Alex", who joined Sam's gaming group a month ago. Underline the exact messages where you think something turns.
ALEX: honestly you're the only one in that group with actual skill
ALEX: how come you're always online late? everything ok at home?
SAM: parents arguing again lol
ALEX: that's rough. you can always talk to me. i get you
ALEX: btw let's chat on snap instead, this app is dead
ALEX: don't mention it to the group tho, they'd just be jealous we're close
ALEX: you'd look proper good in the pic you posted. got any more? just for me
What would you say to Sam?
There is a scam you need to know about, and it especially targets boys. Someone pretending to be an attractive person your age gets talking, quickly asks for a photo, and the moment they have anything, they demand money and threaten to send it to everyone you know. It can go from first message to threat in one evening.
If this ever happens: do not pay, because paying never makes it stop, it proves you will pay. Stop replying, but do not delete the chat, because it is evidence. Block the account, and tell an adult straight away. The police deal with this constantly, they will treat you as the victim you are, and the threat almost always collapses the moment an adult is involved. However bad it feels in the moment, this is fixable, and no photo is ever worth harming yourself over. Ever.
You are not in trouble, and it is fixable. There is a free tool called Report Remove, run by Childline and the Internet Watch Foundation, that helps anyone under 18 get nude or sexual images of themselves taken down from the internet. Fake and AI-made images count too. Search "Report Remove Childline". You do not have to give your real name.
Tell a trusted adult, at home or at school. Report online sexual abuse to CEOP at ceop.police.uk, which goes to specialist police officers. Childline is free and confidential on 0800 1111, any hour of the day or night. Block and report in the app itself. And if you or a friend is in danger right now, or someone is on their way to meet a person they met online, call 999.